My thoughts on: Pretending by Holly Bourne

 

 

“I hate men.” April’s (the main character) first line cut through all my perceptions that Pretending was going to be any usual rom-com. As much as it’s feminist, it isn’t a man-bashing novel either. Interestingly, at the end of the first chapter, April says, “I still fancy men.” So, what is it about men in this novel? That’s when I would say a novel every woman, but mostly a novel every man should read to know the mind of a woman and the type of man she desires – the emotionally intelligent man. And here Bourne talks about a real woman, like a lot of us…who don’t look picture perfect early in the morning like those models on those fashion covers, or we aren’t as bootilicious as those women in those music videos. But why do we have to be Barbie when we are not looking for a Ken?

 

Pretending is a no-holds barred view on men, women, sex, relationships…and that relationships are not all about sex, though sex is of importance in the relationship equation. Bourne has many great one-liners: witty, raw and relatable. And then she cleverly leads us to the bigger points, through April’s experiences. As I got comfortable with April and Joshua’s romance, I cheered on April’s thoughts and I paraphrase: Since when was a kiss simply just to lead on to more kisses, and not just a goal to get a woman in bed?

 

From real relationship questions, Bourne also deals with the dark side of abuse against women and PTSD. She dares to deal with the tough questions – rape in relationships; girlfriends raped by boyfriends who don’t even think of it as rape because they’re too busy thinking about their own selves. It brings me back to when I caught a snippet of the Phil McGraw show and how hundreds of teens girls are having sex not because they want to, but just to please their boyfriends, or because they’re too scared to lose them to the next pretty girl across the room.

 

Yet, the best part about Pretending is it never defends women blindly either. It goes to show that lies hurt both men and women equally. And at the end of the day, a woman wants to love a man who loves her the way he wants to be loved.

 

One solid message of Pretending: pretence never solves anything, so best to get real in relationships, exchange real care for another, and only then can real romance exist.

 

Thank you, Holly Bourne for this insightful, realistic yet highly entertaining novel…a thin line to navigate but so carefully and beautifully done.